Is the Support You Get Holding You Back?

Hi, it’s Eva, and I’m dropping in today to talk about something we all know is important even if we don’t think about it much, or in fact just take it for granted. And it’s the issue of support in our lives, and what we call on the path of active authenticity, ample support.

For those following along in my book: Chasing the Wild Authentic, this concept is introduced in Part II (Zone 2): Expressing Who You Are, but it really is one of those core concepts that’s relevant to every aspect of life. Let me just share the section of the book I’m referring to.

“Improving your experience of life—acting to go from where you are currently to where you want to be—requires effort, courage, and clear thinking. And while your goal is at a distance, improving your situation will also require ample doses of vision and faith.

Persistent effort, continuous courage, clear thinking, and faith can sometimes be in short supply, especially when the road to a goal is long. Limited or depleted stores of energy for the journey can have a real impact on how far you make it, or if you make it at all.

But there’s a great way to stack the odds in your favor, expand your possibilities, and increase the likelihood you’ll get where you want to go. And it’s as easy as doing with support what you could not do alone. Better actions are made more sustainable by charging them with the energy of ample support.”

And how do we define ample support on the path of active authenticity? It’s support that does two things: 1. keeps you moving forward, and 2. keeps you moving forward with balance.

On this path, support is meant to make us feel better, but if it stops there, it’s not really what we would call ample support. Because a significant part of real support is feeling things change, and change in the direction you want them to go.

If we’re not careful, we can use support as a “codependent fix” – use it to keep us idling exactly where we are. And while it’s appropriate at times to linger and absorb an experience, too much lingering can lead to avoidance of the next, and enlivening, thing.

So ample support is support that moves us forward.

The second part of ample support on the path of active authenticity is moving forward WITH BALANCE.

Now what does that mean?

If we’re moving forward, but moving forward with too much stress, as in white-knuckling it, or if we’re moving forward but at the expense of other valued things in life, then we’re not moving forward with balance. If we’re moving forward, but we have too much anxiety while moving forward, or too much doubt, or resentment, then we’re not moving forward with balance. And just a side-note here. All the words I just used to describe an unbalanced state? When they describe your actual experience, you can follow your experience to discover what will restore your sense of balance.

Anxious while moving forward? What elements of moving forward are creating that anxiety, and where can you intervene to move forward in a less anxious state?  How to actually do this is part of the skill-set of Part I (Zone 1): Knowing Who You Are. For now, just know, that if you’re not moving forward, and not moving forward in a balanced state, then you need more, or different kinds of support.

This is a good thing to think about no matter where you are in life, because, as previously noted, having ample support is often the deciding factor in whether you reach your goals, or if you don’t.